Stedman Graham, longtime partner of Oprah Winfrey, recently opened up about the complexities of their relationship and the challenges of being with one of the world’s most famous women.

Although the two have been together since 1986, they never married—a decision that, according to Oprah, has ultimately strengthened their bond. Stedman reflected on the journey they’ve shared and the balancing act required to maintain a strong partnership while building his own identity outside of Oprah’s significant public persona.

In recent interviews, Stedman discussed how Oprah’s powerful presence challenged him to explore and define his own identity. Being in a relationship with a global icon has, at times, felt overwhelming. He acknowledged that living in Oprah’s shadow has had emotional impacts, sometimes leaving him feeling sidelined.

However, he expressed gratitude for the personal growth he has achieved by learning to define himself independently of Oprah’s fame. Stedman’s philosophy centers around “identity leadership,” a concept he explains as self-leadership based on self-mastery and self-empowerment.

He believes that before leading or fully supporting another person, one must first be confident in their own identity. This personal growth journey has allowed him to provide genuine support to Oprah without losing himself in her world.

Despite the challenges, Stedman has always been a strong supporter of Oprah’s dreams and goals. In their relationship, mutual respect and the desire to see each other thrive have been foundational.

He expressed admiration for Oprah’s dedication and hard work, noting her intelligence, creativity, and work ethic. Though he sometimes felt overlooked due to Oprah’s celebrity, he emphasized the importance of communication and self-reflection in maintaining their connection. Stedman believes that by focusing on self-actualization, one can cultivate personal happiness, which strengthens a relationship.

Stedman also shared insights about the impact of societal expectations on his life with Oprah. He noted how labels related to race, gender, and public status can limit and define individuals, emphasizing the need to break free from these constraints.

Throughout his life, he’s focused on developing his talents, skills, and purpose independently, which has helped him avoid letting others’ expectations define him. This journey of self-discovery has not been easy, especially in a world that often sees him solely as “Oprah’s partner,” but he credits his personal growth to this journey.

During the pandemic, their relationship faced new challenges as they navigated quarantine separately. Oprah, who was recovering from pneumonia, asked Stedman to stay in their guest house as a safety precaution.

While the separation was necessary, Stedman candidly described how the experience highlighted feelings of isolation and the emotional toll of being physically apart. Despite these difficulties, the experience reinforced the importance of self-reliance and resilience in their partnership.

Oprah has also been open about their decision not to marry, stating in a recent interview that marriage would have required a different approach to their relationship. She believes that traditional marriage roles might have restricted her freedom to focus on her career and personal growth, potentially putting a strain on their partnership. Oprah once reflected that if they had married, they might not have stayed together—a sentiment that Stedman appears to understand and respect.

Ultimately, Stedman’s reflections reveal the dedication required to maintain a healthy relationship with a public figure. He acknowledges the sacrifices and emotional challenges but emphasizes that their bond is grounded in mutual support and understanding. For Stedman, true happiness comes from within, and he sees self-discovery as essential to being a strong partner. His journey underscores the importance of carving out one’s own identity while supporting the dreams of a loved one.